Jeff Hardy- The Hyper Hypo
by morningglory77
Summary: Jeff is hyper, and he meets Lita, they are both six years of age,and what happens when Lita gives him chocolate? Based on an episode of SNL


A/N: Thought this might be funny. I LOVE Jeff Hardy don't get me wrong. And Lita is my favorite wrestler. I don't own nothing.This is another one based on an SNL episode.  
**Jeff Hardy the Hyper-Hypo   
  
Jeff Hardy**  
**Lita**

**In the park: Near the kiddy gym**  
 [Jeff is harnessed to a kiddy gym. He tries several times to leap forward and break the harness but fails miserably. Lita sits quietly and plays with her Barbie dolls. Jeff finally sits down. ]   
  
**Jeff**: Hi!   
  
**Lita**: Hi!   
  
**Jeff**: Hi!   
  
**Lita**: Hi!   
  
**Jeff**: What's your name?   
  
**Lita**: Lita. What's yours?   
  
**Jeff**: My name is Jefferey, but they all call me Jeff for short. How come you don't wear a harness?   
  
**Lita**: My mom doesn't believe in it. She thinks it's cruel.   
  
**Jeff**: My brother thinks it's very necessary. I'm hypoglycemic and hyperactive. I'm a hyper hypo. That's why I wear a helmet. My brother's a little overprotective.   
  
**Lita**: Well, why don't you try and get out of it?  
  
**Jeff**: Okay. (Jeff tries to run and break the harness. Seeing that it's useless, he stops) I can't right now. I've worn my way through six harnesses. One time, my brother's car ran out of gas so he gave me a Snickers bar and a can of Coke; I towed the car home, seven miles. When we got home I was tired.   
  
**Lita**: We just moved here from Fort Lauderdale. It's nice here in North Carolina.  
  
**Jeff**: Yes it is. How old are you?   
  
**Lita**: Six. How old are you?  
  
**Jeff**: I'm six and a half.   
  
**Lita**: I'm six and three quarters.   
  
**Jeff**: I'm six and four fifths.   
  
**Lita**: I'm six and infinity.   
  
**Jeff**: I'm six and infinity plus one. Can I see that? (grabs doll) See that? This is where milk comes for the babies. This is where milk comes for the babies. Right there and there.   
  
**Lita**: Give it back to me stupid.   
  
**Jeff**: Shut up.   
  
**Lita**: Stupid.   
  
**Jeff**: Shut up.   
  
**Lita**: I'm gonna talk like a robot. I'm a robot. I'm talking like a robot.   
  
**Jeff**: I love you, you know.   
  
**Lita**: I know. People always tell me that. Don't know why.  
  
**Jeff**: You're conceited.   
  
**Lita**: You're a weirdo. I don't know why your hair is blue and purple.  
  
**Jeff**: I'm over you. You're dropped.   
  
**Lita**: I don't talk to you anymore.   
  
**Jeff**: I don't think about you when you're not here you know.   
  
**Lita**: At least I don't have to wear a harness.   
  
**Jeff**: (starts crying)  That was hurtful and unnecessary.   
  
**Lita**: I'm sorry. 

**Jeff**: That's okay.   
  
**Lita**: I'm in a wrestling group, I'm still learning how to do a moonsault off the top rope though.  
  
**Jeff**: Wow. You're surrounded by a lot of positive support.   
  
**Lita**: What?   
  
**Jeff**: Nothing.   
  
**Lita**: I'm gonna try a move that I first learned. (slaps him right in the face)  
  
**Jeff**: What was that for?! (rubs his face where Lita slapped him)  
  
**Lita**: Self-defense.I can do a hurrica- a hurrica- well I can't say it but it really hurts you want me to show you?  
**Jeff**: (scared) NO! (softer tone) I mean no thanks I think I'll pass.

**Lita**: Okay.

**Jeff**: I gotta say you know, when you get older, people aren't going to support you so much.   
  
**Lita**: Why not?   
  
**Jeff**: My cousin was a cute kid and then he hit puberty and his face exploded. Now he looks around and he's wondering where all the people who said he was cute went to. Guess what I'm doing? (smooshes his face together)  
  
**Lita**: You're smooshing your face   
  
**Jeff**: I'm doing an impression of my brother. He's too serious at times  
  
**Lita**: I can be serious at times, too.   
  
**Jeff**: I love you again.  
  
**Lita**: I know.   
  
**Jeff**: I'm hungry.   
  
**Lita**: Oh, I have a Hershey bar.   
  
**Jeff**: I'm not supposed to eat sugar.   
  
**Lita**: [ eating the Hershey bar ] Mmm.. it's really good.   
  
**Jeff**: You're really a pretty red-head disguised as the devil.  
  
**Lita**: Want a bite? [gives him the chocolate]  
  
**Jeff**: Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt.   
  
[ Jeff eats the chocolate and freaks out, breaking the jungle gym free and running off with it trailing behind him ]   
  



End file.
